River City Bicycles

Friday morning we loaded up the van with bikes, belts, booze, and 5 dudes. We pointed ourselves South and 12 short hours later, hit San Fran. We did go out that night, but none of us recall where, so it must not have been noteworthy at all.

Fast forward to Saturday morning’s “feats of strength” qualifier. We rode all over the city with groups of people that we didn’t know, but who, most likely know us now. Stairs got run, hills got climbed, dolla billz got snatched, beaches got run, score cards

Looks fake, but itʼs not. We were debuting our newly designed and installed anti-gravity center track belts . Yep, they work and they are awesome, and no, you canʼt have one.

We all qualified. Some of us in a more traditional fashion than others, but we alltoed the line for the main event. Thatʼs good because we sort of ʻforgotʼ togoto the Last Chance Qualifiers Event on Saturday night. In the end, I think itʼs good we werenʼt there for a variety of reasons that you shouldnʼt know about. Poor Seth spent the entire weekend trying to kick some sort of ailment and hadto behave himself, he was in amazing shape and ready to go earn a tattoo (Winner getsa tat. Donʼt want the tat? Donʼt win – more on that later.) Little did he know that his weekend would only find more misfortune. Sunday morning we woke up and shook out the cobwebs – of which there weremany – and rolled out to the race. Seth, Dave , our buddy Jake, and I drove while Ryan and Alex trenchcoated up for the wet ride:

Pics courtesy Colla Bone Productions by Jake Brimlow

Upon arrival we registered and got our finalrace prep done. Again, different methods for each of us to get in the kill zone for therace:

Donʼt be alarmed, most of this blood is fake.

Thanks for pics Jake B.

They yelled GO and, aided by some tactical cunning , I took the hole shot. First to the bikes, and best bike in the race – I won the 2 categories that matter most to me.

Seth though, metanother fate. Some big dumb lummox accidentally smashedhis rear wheel duringthe start. This shot is after it got “fixed” – fixed means that it now could rotate through his frame.Not good.

As a result, Seth did a lot ofrunning. The fools at the front end of the race are lucky that he messed aroundin the pit for a while. I would not like to have Seth pissedand running after me.

Where did the other riders go? Oh yeah, Weaver just ate them. With no remorse.What are you gonna do about that? Nothing.

◦ Thanks Plattyjo for the pic.

My major issue was dealing with heat management, after getting the hole-shot, the Carbon Drive allowed me to go way harder and faster than my body was capable of. What did I do? Hang out in a bath and drink beers, and then sit on a log and drink beers.

So I got distracted by something shiny. Seth got his wheel smashed by a Sasquatch. 1/2 the team was down, but the other 1/2 were thriving. After less than stellar starts (I will be giving tactical clinics), they threaded the gauntlet of shattered dreams:

How

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All in all, the weekend was a success. The winners of the race – who shall gain no print from me – refused the ceremonial tattoos. The are forever damned to race with gears against people who have their priorities all wrong. Personas non grata.

It took a few days to recover fully from our various forms of exertion. We would like to offer up a formal apology to anyone who fell foul of our weekend efforts. A huge thank-you goes to Dave Guettler who was a champ and drove after putting up with us all weekend. Big thanks also to Gates Carbon Drive for supplying the best drivetrains on the best bikes in the whole world. We can’t wait to up the ante in Santa Cruz next year in conjunction with Gates – it is so gratifying to blow by someone with a broken or dropped chain out there – which happens really often! Let’s start planning 2012!

This just in: Mountain Bike National Championships Moves East for 2013 . That would be my hometown, by the velodrome I grew up racing on, and at the ski resort where my Dad works. Let’s fire up some 29ers and make it happen all over again!